A child screams at the hand dryer, refuses a certain pair of socks, covers their ears at a birthday party, eats only crunchy food or cannot stop spinning. To an outsider these can look like fussiness or bad behaviour. For the child they are often real, physical experiences that other people do not share.
This article explains what sensory differences are, how they can show up, and how to work out what your child needs. It is general information, not therapy or medical advice, and it cannot tell you whether your child has a sensory processing difficulty.
Our senses constantly bring information in from the world and from inside our bodies. Brains sort that information, notice what matters and filter out the rest. Many autistic and ADHD people process sensory information differently. Some things feel much stronger than they do to other people, some feel much weaker, and the same thing can feel different on different days.
It helps to know that there are more than five senses. As well as sight, hearing, touch, taste and smell there is also the sense of balance and movement, the sense of where your body is in space, and the sense of what is happening inside your body, such as hunger, thirst or a full bladder. Any of these can be different.
Children often fall into one of two broad patterns, and many have both depending on the sense.
A child may be sensitive to noise and also seek movement. That is not a contradiction. It is just how their nervous system is wired.
The most important thing an adult can do is believe the child. When a child says a label hurts or a room is too loud, they are describing something real. Being told they are overreacting teaches them to distrust their own body.
Sensory load also adds up. A child might cope with one noisy thing, then another and then another, and fall apart over something small. The small thing was the last straw, not the cause.
Sensory overload does not always look like covering ears. It can look like irritability, silliness, running away, shutting down, meltdowns, refusing to go somewhere, a stomach ache or going very quiet. If a child falls apart after school, sensory load may be part of the picture, because school can be very loud, bright and busy.
You are the expert on your child, and a little detective work goes a long way.
Needs change over time, so it is worth coming back to it every so often.
What your child needs is only useful if the people around them know. Teachers, relatives and other carers can make small changes if they understand. Having your child's needs written down, in your child's own words where possible, makes that conversation far easier than trying to explain it from scratch each time.
Our My Sensory Toolkit is a printable pack for children aged 5 to 10 that helps a child notice how sounds, touch, light and movement feel for them, and plan what helps. It also includes a note that a child can share with school and carers, cut-out cards for telling a grown-up when words are hard, and a certificate at the end. It is untimed, strengths-first and has no right or wrong answers. It is a practical self-knowledge tool for home and school, not an assessment.
You can see it with the other wellbeing packs on the mental wellbeing packs page. To go further, read coping skills for neurodivergent kids and meltdowns, shutdowns and tantrums.
It is worth speaking to your GP or your child's school SENCO if sensory differences are making daily life very hard, such as eating, sleeping, getting dressed or attending school. Your GP can talk to you about what support is available, which may include a referral to occupational therapy in some areas.
If your child ever talks about hurting themselves or not wanting to be here, take it seriously and get help straight away. In an emergency call 999. Children can call Childline for free on 0800 1111, and the YoungMinds Parents Helpline is available on 0808 802 5544.
You can find more helplines and support organisations, including what to do while you wait for CAMHS, on our Where to get help page.
