A parent's quick reference, with sheets so the plan exists before you need it.
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⬇ Download your free guideA meltdown is not a failure of parenting and it is not a failure of your child. It is what can happen when a nervous system is overloaded beyond what it can manage. Bargaining or reasoning in the middle of one usually makes it longer, which is why it helps to have a plan ready before the hard moment.
Read our free article on this topic →
If your child finds everyday demands hard, see our Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) support page.
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Keep your child safe, say very little, reduce noise and other input and stay calm and nearby if that helps. Save talking and problem-solving for later, once your child has recovered. Children differ, so the guide helps you build a plan that fits yours.
A tantrum is usually about getting or avoiding something and tends to ease when the situation changes. A meltdown is an involuntary response to overload. The child is not in control of it. Our article on meltdowns, tantrums and shutdowns goes through the differences.
A shutdown is the quieter version of overwhelm. A child may go silent, stop responding, freeze or withdraw. It can look calm or be misread as sulking, but it is a nervous system at its limit.
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Speak to your GP or your child's school SENCO if you are worried, if meltdowns are getting more frequent or if anyone is getting hurt. If someone is in immediate danger call 999. See Where to get help.
